Insecurity Is Loud: Here’s Why

In today’s world, the loudest voice in the room often gets the most attention. The person who makes the most noise, who commands the most eyes, can seem like the one who holds all the power. But this perception is deceptive. In reality, those who need to be the center of attention, who seek validation and approval from everyone around them, are often the most insecure individuals in the room. 

Their loudness is a mask for their internal weakness, a cover for the fact that they lack the confidence and resilience that comes from true experience and hardship. I’ve often found that both insecure men and women have not faced trials and tribulations in their life. Or even worse, they turn a blind eye to ignore the problems so they do not have to face them.

99% of humans despise those uncomfortable conversations or facing their life problems head on. Well, you will not be able to grow resiliency and acquire thick skin if you consistently shy away from life’s hardships. 

In fact, it’s quite the opposite. What happens is that the person who has no resiliency and toughness built in from hard times, they do not know how to deal with failures. 

From my experience in the Navy and back into civilian life, the people who ignored those hard conversations with friends, family, and even strangers, they have no mental toughness or resiliency built-in. They have extremely thin skin. 

The human brain develops fully around the age of 25 years old. I say this because if you shy away from failure and don’t deal with it, head on, you typically will never experience with that will feel like. Then eventually your brain will mature and that’s all you know, is running away from hard times. 

There’s a quote that I resonate with deeply and I believe it to be extremely accurate. G. Michael Hopf said, “Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”

I often think about if every person on earth ran away from their problems and did not face them. Head on, everybody would be insecure. It would create extremely hard times, because they are soft and weak.  

Insecurity is like a hungry beast that demands constant feeding. Those who are insecure often walk into a room and immediately seek to dominate it with their presence. They talk loudly, make grand gestures, and do everything in their power to draw attention to themselves. They want everyone to see them, to acknowledge them, to validate their existence. But this behavior is not a sign of strength. It is a sign of weakness. The title of this blog is extremely important so I will say it again, “insecurity is loud.” 

If you are on social media, you will see an abundant display of "motivational" speakers. However, when they tell their story, they have no depth, no character built-in, and no reason to be standing on stage. Even gaslighting their audience to feel good about themselves. 

The need for constant validation is a clear indicator that something is lacking internally. When someone is secure in themselves, they do not need the approval of others to feel good about who they are. They do not need to be the loudest or the most noticed. They do not need to constantly seek the spotlight because they are confident in their own worth. They know who they are to the very fiber of their being, and they are at peace with that knowledge. 

In contrast, those who are insecure are often the ones who have not faced true hardship. They have not been tested by life, and as a result, they lack the depth of character that comes from overcoming adversity. They may have always taken the easy road, avoiding failure and discomfort, and as a result, they have not developed the resilience that comes from persevering through difficult times.  

True strength is not found in those who have never failed, but in those who have failed over and over again and have refused to give up. It takes immense willpower and perseverance to continue striving for your goals, even in the face of repeated failure. Most people cannot handle this kind of pressure. Failure breaks them. It crushes their spirit and leaves them defeated. 

This is largely due to the fact that they are afraid of being judged by their peers. 

But those who have the strength to keep going, to keep pushing forward despite the obstacles in their way, are the ones who truly achieve their goals. 

The next time you walk into a room, pay attention to the people around you. Look for the quiet ones, the ones who are not seeking attention or validation. They are often the ones with the most depth, the most character, the most soul. These are the people who have been through hardship, who have faced failure and come out stronger on the other side. They do not need to announce their presence with loudness because their strength speaks for itself. 

The quiet man sitting in the corner, with weathered, hazy eyes that tell a story of endurance, perseverance, and depth of their soul is often the true alpha male. He does not need to bark loudly to assert his dominance because he knows that true strength does not need to be announced. It is felt. It is recognized by those who are wise enough to see beyond the surface. 

This quiet confidence is the mark of someone who has walked through the fire and emerged unscathed. It is the mark of someone who has faced failure, who has been knocked down but has always gotten back up. It is the mark of someone who does not need to prove anything to anyone because they have already proven everything to themselves. 

In contrast, the loud, attention-seeking individual is often the weakest link in the room. They may put on a show of confidence, but it is just that—a show. Beneath the surface, they are often filled with doubt and insecurity. They are constantly seeking validation from others because they do not truly believe in their own worth. 

These individuals are often the ones who crumble when faced with real adversity. They are not used to failure because they have always avoided it. They have not built up the resilience that comes from pushing through difficult times, and as a result, they lack the inner strength that is necessary to achieve true success. 

In life, it is not the loudest or the most attention-seeking who are the strongest. It is those who have the quiet confidence that comes from experience and hardship. It is those who do not need to be validated by others because they have already validated themselves. It is those who have the strength to keep going, even when the going gets tough. 

I will repeat this sentence again because it is extremely important to understand. The next time you find yourself in a room full of people, do not be fooled by the loudest voice. Look instead for the quiet ones, the ones who do not need to announce their presence. These are often the people with the most strength, the most resilience, the most character. They are the ones who have been tested by life and have forged an unbreakable mindset from going through fire repeatedly. 

Insecurity may be loud, but true strength is quiet. It does not need to be seen or heard to be felt. It is recognized by those who know what to look for, by those who understand that the loudest voice is often the weakest. 

True strength is found in those who have faced failure, who have walked through hardship, and who have emerged on the other side with a quiet confidence that cannot be shaken. 

Remember this: The person who is the most secure in themselves is often the one who speaks the least. They do not need to prove anything to anyone because they have already proven everything to themselves. And in that quiet confidence lies true strength. 

True alpha men do not need to tell you they are alphas, they know they are. 

I challenge you to set your ego aside and instead of trying to impress people, ask them how they gained their confidence and learn from them. 

Insecurity Is loud… 

Zack Ferguson | Navy SEAL

DSG Co-Owner | Instructor

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