Fatherhood and Training

As service members and law enforcement officers, either past or present, we remember how it felt to be the new guy. Everything about the job and how to train for it was so new. At least, that was how it was for me. I didn't have anyone in my family who had prior service, and I didn't know anything about physical fitness. So, I just tried to learn as much as I could, as fast as I could, to be an asset to the team and earn the respect of my teammates and leadership.

Especially when it came to physical fitness, I was far behind most of my platoon. Luckily for me, there was a team leader who took me to the gym and taught me how to lift properly and how to train for the job. The next thing I knew, I was the one teaching the new guys how to train in the gym. By that point, I had seen all types of leadership styles and training partner personalities. 

Like most people, our leadership and training styles are a mixture of what we have seen. I took what I liked and made it my own way of doing things. It worked well in the military, but then I had my first child. That’s when I started asking myself questions about how I was going to train my kids.

Physical and mental strength are character traits that matter to me. Trying to be as physically and mentally tough aspossible has helped me in both my military career and personal life. So, of course, I wanted my kids to train so they can reap the benefits of challenging work. However, how I would go about training my kids was the question.

I would see some dads have this drill sergeant approach when training their kids, and I did not think that looked fun for the kids. Other dads I noticed would train hard but did not care or would quickly give up on training their kids. Usually, those kids ended up being out of shape, had no discipline, or showed any interest in physical activities. 

So, not only did I wonder how I would train my kids, but also what that training would entail. Was I going to put them in sports? If so, what sport? Would I enroll them in a martial arts school? If so, what discipline of martial arts would they practice? With every question, more questions would pop up.

Eventually, I decided to take my child to the park as much as possible during the first years of their lives. I saw some dads start their kids in activities so young, and in my opinion, it robbed them of a childhood, especially in the early years. I did not feel it was a good idea to push or put so much pressure on my 5-year-old to be the next best thing in football, fighting, or anything like that.

I waited until my son was 8 and my daughter was 6 years old to start introducing martial arts to them. Why martial arts and not a team sport? Martial arts gives kids confidence, strength, discipline, and bullies usually do not target kids with those qualities. I’m not saying that sports doesn’t do that too but having them be able to defend themselves was the deciding factor.

They first started training in Muay Thai, then they added some jiu-jitsu training. It didn’t take long before jiu-jitsu became the main martial art they trained in. They still occasionally come with me to the gym to do some striking, but jiu-jitsu is what they love. They love jiu-jitsu more because they get to drill and roll with their friends instead of hitting mitts with a coach or punching a bag by themselves. At least that’s what I gathered from my observations. 

During their jiu-jitsu classes, I noticed my son was not very athletic. It was almost like he had two left feet. I started taking both my kids to my strength and conditioning coach's gym. He didn’t have them start lifting weights or anything like that. In the beginning it was all mobility and agility work. Then, after they had a good base, that’s when he started including weights. In the beginning they were training with him once a week, and now it’s 2-3 times a week. Now my son and daughter are stronger, faster, and more coordinated.

When they roll or compete in jiu-jitsu or train at the gym, my main goals are always for them to have fun and give it their all. I don’t yell or belittle them if they lose a competition or a roll session against a certain kid. I don’t care if they didn’t get the longest jump or didn’t lift the most weight during the kids strengthening and conditioning class. I only tell them something when I know they didn’t give their all because they weren’t taking it seriously, which usually means they were just playing around. Because I at the end of the day they are still kids. 

Lastly, one thing I noticed is that every child is different. For example, my son didn’t have an older sibling to learn from so it took him a while to pick up on certain things. When my daughter was 6 years old, we put her into jiu-jitsu as well because she was pretty athletic for her age. Now, youngest who is 5 years old and does the little kids jiujitsu 30 minute class was doing the warms ups on the side when she was 3 years old. We never forced her to do that she just had two older siblings that she wanted to be like. Leave comment or direct message us if this write helped.  Or tell us about how your train your kids. 

Angel Cortes  

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Defense Strategies Group  

https://www.defensestrategies.us/ Instagram: @angelgcortes175